Don't get discouraged

All my life I’ve felt inferior to others. From my earliest memories of school I can distinctly remember feeling this way. I wasn’t like everyone else. I was different. I was a short little skinny kid. School was a struggle for me and I had to work twice as hard to excel, and at times that still wasn’t good enough. I remember crying because I just couldn’t figure out what was being taught… and this only compounded as I progressed through school.

 I watched as my friends grew taller and taller while I stayed the same. I couldn’t wait until I hit my growth spurt. Then enter high school and I’m still the same height. To my dismay I never hit a major growth spurt, and I’m still penalized by that to this day.

So now I’m graduated and going off to college. “WOW” me attending college. As much as I struggled through school you’d think I’d quit. I chuckle at that. I can vividly remember my dad telling me “son, you’re not a quitter. You don’t start something that you don’t intend to finish.” I can remember him saying that clear as day, and I can honestly say that I’ve lived by that to this day.  I’ve never quit something I started. Take college for example. I failed some classes which put me behind in graduating on time.  So you know what I did? I retook those classes I failed and walked up that aisle and got my degree the following semester. 

Talk about discouraging. Thoughts of my childhood still haunt me to this day. “You’re not smart enough”, “You’re not good enough”, “Just go ahead and quit”, “You’re never going to win”, “Give up.” Those are some pretty negative thoughts, right? They don’t get any better from here. I’ve been a single guy for…well; pretty much my entire adult life and those thoughts of self-image plague my mind. I don’t see myself as attractive. I don’t see myself as someone a woman would ever be attracted to. "You're too short”, “You’re not attractive”, “What’s there to like about you?” “You’re nothing.” It’s hard to believe how much those thoughts affect you. It’s just like repetition. If you keep doing it you’ll get better, and on the flip side, if you keep saying it you’ll start to believe it.

I wish I was taller. I wish I had that natural attractiveness, but you know what? I don’t. And even if I could make those wishes come true, would I truly be happy? I know one thing, I wouldn’t be me if I could.  

So this leads me into something that you don’t hear much about (or at least, I don’t), which is dating from a guy’s eyes. I’ll just say that I could be totally off-base here, so this is just my perspective. It’s a mind game through and through. “Does she like me? Should I ask her out? What if I ask her out and she says no? How do I ask her out? Does she think I’m attractive?” And, you get the point. For me, asking a girl out is tremendously difficult, maybe because of lack of effort, but I have the mindset that I’m too short and there’s no way she’s ever going to say “yes” to a short guy. This isn’t just something I conjured up, I’ve been told it before and I’ve see ALL the polls and blog posts of how short guys are just sol. And it’s discouraging. Again, I could be totally off-base here, but I’m sure you single girls have some of the same thoughts. “Does he like me? Is he attracted to me? Does he think I’m pretty? Am I enough?” Luckily, you don’t have to deal with the “am I too short?” scenario…unless you’re super tall and taller than most guys, maybe then you have a similar thought. So yea, I have so much more I could build on, but I’ll leave it at that. Guys have it just as hard too. We what you to like us. To appreciate us. We try just as hard as you to be all that you want.

Moral is, don't get discouraged. Hang in here :)

Christmas Eve Night

So here I sit. The TV on with a Christmas movie playing for background noise...It's been some time since my last update and thought I'd try and post something before the New Year.

Every year -for the past several actually I've thought I'd be off the single train for once. -And it's not like I'm lonely during Christmas, because I'm not, but if it weren't for family I probably would be. Hmm, family. The holidays can be somewhat annoying for us single people at times, especially if you have family members who are always questioning your singleness. For example, I may express my desire to have a girlfriend and how hard it is to find one, but then am met with a response such "You just need to get out more and find on." And nine times out of ten the response is from a married person. Easy for them to say...I don't think they realize what that does to a person. It's not as easy as "going out and finding one." I really don't get out much. Between work, working out and studying for work, my day is pretty much shot. The weekends I like to relax. I live in BEF and work in an environment that is predominantly male dominated and the women who do work there are all married OR have boyfriends. And I'm not the type of guy that's going to do or say anything to one of those women that isn't strictly professional and work related. So to sum that all up: BFE = no single women, work = no single women. And you can forget online dating, because that's just a complete waste of time unless you're a woman. Unless a women literally walks up to me and asks me if I'm single, I'm probably going to be on the single train for some time to come.  But, enough about that. If you're reading this and are feeling alone, I want you to know that you're not. Someone out there loves you and values your life. You're more than nothing, in fact, you're everything to someone and you mean the entire world.  Don't for one second think that you have no value. You're precious and have extreme value.

Rock solid faith

Dear future wife:

I pray that God will increase your faith to where you have rock-solid confidence that your prayers are answered; unwavering faith. Don’t give up on what you love most for what you want now. Maybe you have a passion for music. If so, I pray that God will ignite that fire inside of you and grow that passion even more.  I pray that God will inspire you with new creative ideas in songs and music.  If you’re hurting, if you’re afraid, if you’re lonely, I pray God will give you a spirit of joy!

Why do I pray

I'm sometimes asked, "Brandon, why do you pray for your future wife?" and honestly, it was something that God was dealing with me on. We all know that prayer is powerful, there's no denying it. What batter way to start a relationship than to pray for someone? So I guess that's brought me to the decision to start praying for my future wife. Not only am I praying for her (granted, she's the core subject the majority of the time), but I'm also praying for myself. Praying that God will prepare me for her.

At times, marriage seems so far away and praying for a person you've never met sometimes feels pointless. I don't work with any women, which makes it hard to meet anyone at work. I live in a super small town so meeting someone who lives near me is difficult. No matter what way I look at it, it seems far away. But like I said above, there is no force greater in this world than prayer.

Lord, I pray that you will increase her joy and her faith. Increase her understanding and increase her wisdom. Give her vision and clarity. Lead and guide her daily. Give her integrity to stand up for what is right.


Amen!

Don't conform

Dear, Future Wife

Don't conform to what the world tells you. You're a  queen who was bought with an extraordinary price. Don't listen to the lies of the enemy telling you you're worthless or insignificant; you are more than enough, you are more than a conqueror!  Walk with your head high and stand up for what you believe in. Become that courageous woman God has called you to be, and don't let a guy mold you into something you're not.

Pray those bold prayers

It’s the New Year. I’ll try to get back into the swing. It’s been awhile since I’ve updated my blogger so here’s a new post.

You are a blessed woman of God! Keep in faith. Pray those bold prayers. When you pray boldly, there is no limit on what God can do for you. Think about it, our God threw the Universe together. The Sun, the Moon, the Stars. Even gravity! It was all spoken into existence!  We have to pray like it’s already done and we’re just waiting on the manifestation of it. We’re told to come boldly to the throne. That means to pray with confidence without any hesitation.  This wouldn’t even be possible if it wasn’t for  the blood of Jesus. He is always available -Always gracious and merciful. Think about how bold Jacob was. He wrestled an angel and demanded to be blessed!

My prayer over you –The Prayer of Jabez. 1 Chronicles 4:10

God in Heaven, I come boldly to the throne and ask that You would bless my future wife, and enlarge her territory I pray that Your hand will guide her and direct her path and be with her always, and that You would protect her from any evil the enemy may try to send her way.

yoke

Dear future wife,

You are a woman of God! You are a Queen and were not designed to live in lack or bondage. Words are as sharp as sharp as a two edge sword so I pray if anyone has spoken any negativity over you that has made you feel insecure that it is broken off. That yoke of insecurity has to leave in Jesus name! You are smart enough, you are tall enough, you are attractive! Don't ever think that you aren't "enough." Always remember that man doesn't have the final say. God has the final say.