Don't get discouraged

All my life I’ve felt inferior to others. From my earliest memories of school I can distinctly remember feeling this way. I wasn’t like everyone else. I was different. I was a short little skinny kid. School was a struggle for me and I had to work twice as hard to excel, and at times that still wasn’t good enough. I remember crying because I just couldn’t figure out what was being taught… and this only compounded as I progressed through school.

 I watched as my friends grew taller and taller while I stayed the same. I couldn’t wait until I hit my growth spurt. Then enter high school and I’m still the same height. To my dismay I never hit a major growth spurt, and I’m still penalized by that to this day.

So now I’m graduated and going off to college. “WOW” me attending college. As much as I struggled through school you’d think I’d quit. I chuckle at that. I can vividly remember my dad telling me “son, you’re not a quitter. You don’t start something that you don’t intend to finish.” I can remember him saying that clear as day, and I can honestly say that I’ve lived by that to this day.  I’ve never quit something I started. Take college for example. I failed some classes which put me behind in graduating on time.  So you know what I did? I retook those classes I failed and walked up that aisle and got my degree the following semester. 

Talk about discouraging. Thoughts of my childhood still haunt me to this day. “You’re not smart enough”, “You’re not good enough”, “Just go ahead and quit”, “You’re never going to win”, “Give up.” Those are some pretty negative thoughts, right? They don’t get any better from here. I’ve been a single guy for…well; pretty much my entire adult life and those thoughts of self-image plague my mind. I don’t see myself as attractive. I don’t see myself as someone a woman would ever be attracted to. "You're too short”, “You’re not attractive”, “What’s there to like about you?” “You’re nothing.” It’s hard to believe how much those thoughts affect you. It’s just like repetition. If you keep doing it you’ll get better, and on the flip side, if you keep saying it you’ll start to believe it.

I wish I was taller. I wish I had that natural attractiveness, but you know what? I don’t. And even if I could make those wishes come true, would I truly be happy? I know one thing, I wouldn’t be me if I could.  

So this leads me into something that you don’t hear much about (or at least, I don’t), which is dating from a guy’s eyes. I’ll just say that I could be totally off-base here, so this is just my perspective. It’s a mind game through and through. “Does she like me? Should I ask her out? What if I ask her out and she says no? How do I ask her out? Does she think I’m attractive?” And, you get the point. For me, asking a girl out is tremendously difficult, maybe because of lack of effort, but I have the mindset that I’m too short and there’s no way she’s ever going to say “yes” to a short guy. This isn’t just something I conjured up, I’ve been told it before and I’ve see ALL the polls and blog posts of how short guys are just sol. And it’s discouraging. Again, I could be totally off-base here, but I’m sure you single girls have some of the same thoughts. “Does he like me? Is he attracted to me? Does he think I’m pretty? Am I enough?” Luckily, you don’t have to deal with the “am I too short?” scenario…unless you’re super tall and taller than most guys, maybe then you have a similar thought. So yea, I have so much more I could build on, but I’ll leave it at that. Guys have it just as hard too. We what you to like us. To appreciate us. We try just as hard as you to be all that you want.

Moral is, don't get discouraged. Hang in here :)

Christmas Eve Night

So here I sit. The TV on with a Christmas movie playing for background noise...It's been some time since my last update and thought I'd try and post something before the New Year.

Every year -for the past several actually I've thought I'd be off the single train for once. -And it's not like I'm lonely during Christmas, because I'm not, but if it weren't for family I probably would be. Hmm, family. The holidays can be somewhat annoying for us single people at times, especially if you have family members who are always questioning your singleness. For example, I may express my desire to have a girlfriend and how hard it is to find one, but then am met with a response such "You just need to get out more and find on." And nine times out of ten the response is from a married person. Easy for them to say...I don't think they realize what that does to a person. It's not as easy as "going out and finding one." I really don't get out much. Between work, working out and studying for work, my day is pretty much shot. The weekends I like to relax. I live in BEF and work in an environment that is predominantly male dominated and the women who do work there are all married OR have boyfriends. And I'm not the type of guy that's going to do or say anything to one of those women that isn't strictly professional and work related. So to sum that all up: BFE = no single women, work = no single women. And you can forget online dating, because that's just a complete waste of time unless you're a woman. Unless a women literally walks up to me and asks me if I'm single, I'm probably going to be on the single train for some time to come.  But, enough about that. If you're reading this and are feeling alone, I want you to know that you're not. Someone out there loves you and values your life. You're more than nothing, in fact, you're everything to someone and you mean the entire world.  Don't for one second think that you have no value. You're precious and have extreme value.

Rock solid faith

Dear future wife:

I pray that God will increase your faith to where you have rock-solid confidence that your prayers are answered; unwavering faith. Don’t give up on what you love most for what you want now. Maybe you have a passion for music. If so, I pray that God will ignite that fire inside of you and grow that passion even more.  I pray that God will inspire you with new creative ideas in songs and music.  If you’re hurting, if you’re afraid, if you’re lonely, I pray God will give you a spirit of joy!

Why do I pray

I'm sometimes asked, "Brandon, why do you pray for your future wife?" and honestly, it was something that God was dealing with me on. We all know that prayer is powerful, there's no denying it. What batter way to start a relationship than to pray for someone? So I guess that's brought me to the decision to start praying for my future wife. Not only am I praying for her (granted, she's the core subject the majority of the time), but I'm also praying for myself. Praying that God will prepare me for her.

At times, marriage seems so far away and praying for a person you've never met sometimes feels pointless. I don't work with any women, which makes it hard to meet anyone at work. I live in a super small town so meeting someone who lives near me is difficult. No matter what way I look at it, it seems far away. But like I said above, there is no force greater in this world than prayer.

Lord, I pray that you will increase her joy and her faith. Increase her understanding and increase her wisdom. Give her vision and clarity. Lead and guide her daily. Give her integrity to stand up for what is right.


Amen!

Don't conform

Dear, Future Wife

Don't conform to what the world tells you. You're a  queen who was bought with an extraordinary price. Don't listen to the lies of the enemy telling you you're worthless or insignificant; you are more than enough, you are more than a conqueror!  Walk with your head high and stand up for what you believe in. Become that courageous woman God has called you to be, and don't let a guy mold you into something you're not.

Pray those bold prayers

It’s the New Year. I’ll try to get back into the swing. It’s been awhile since I’ve updated my blogger so here’s a new post.

You are a blessed woman of God! Keep in faith. Pray those bold prayers. When you pray boldly, there is no limit on what God can do for you. Think about it, our God threw the Universe together. The Sun, the Moon, the Stars. Even gravity! It was all spoken into existence!  We have to pray like it’s already done and we’re just waiting on the manifestation of it. We’re told to come boldly to the throne. That means to pray with confidence without any hesitation.  This wouldn’t even be possible if it wasn’t for  the blood of Jesus. He is always available -Always gracious and merciful. Think about how bold Jacob was. He wrestled an angel and demanded to be blessed!

My prayer over you –The Prayer of Jabez. 1 Chronicles 4:10

God in Heaven, I come boldly to the throne and ask that You would bless my future wife, and enlarge her territory I pray that Your hand will guide her and direct her path and be with her always, and that You would protect her from any evil the enemy may try to send her way.

yoke

Dear future wife,

You are a woman of God! You are a Queen and were not designed to live in lack or bondage. Words are as sharp as sharp as a two edge sword so I pray if anyone has spoken any negativity over you that has made you feel insecure that it is broken off. That yoke of insecurity has to leave in Jesus name! You are smart enough, you are tall enough, you are attractive! Don't ever think that you aren't "enough." Always remember that man doesn't have the final say. God has the final say.

Revival week

So our church just finished up having a Revival which started last Wednesday. I usually run our computer software that contains all the songs and scriptures. Another church that we do things with was there having praise and worship practice since they were the ones doing the live music for the revival. I'm back at the computer getting the songs typed in while when all of the sudden the  Apostle (Pastor) from the other church stops everything and walks back to ask me "Why aren't YOU up there playing?" I didn't really know what to say other than "Because I usually run the computer." She precedes to to tell me "Go home and get your guitar!" I oblige and start to practice with the worship team. A few minutes later she says "We needs some bass. Does anyone know Bass?" Again, I spoke up and said "I can play a little." Once again, I'm going home to get my bass.

After all that running around, we're finally ready to REALLY practice with be being part of the team. Practice went quite well actually. I was actually impressed with myself seeing it was my first time playing bass with a band. Afterward, she told me that my future wife is a worshiper and  that I would find her if I stepped into my destiny in playing music. I'll take it. 

Wherever she's at, I pray blessings over her! You are above and not beneath. I pray God opens doors for you, because you have the favor of God all over you!

Patience

I was driving home from work this afternoon listening to Joel Osteen on XM. It's kind of funny how God works sometimes. For example, just the other day I was listening to a message on patience and how God will sometimes put you behind slow drives or slow lines just to test your patience (and Lord knows that I need to work on my patience). What happens today? I get behind slow people, a school bus, and road construction. HA! How's that for patience! I chucked and thought "yes, Lord. I know have patience." Today wasn't anything different. I was listening to a message about how God will use your imperfections, but he also threw in patience too...imagine that. The message really spoke to me because it hit on a lot of topics that I deal with. One, being patience. It's just not getting behind slow drivers or things delaying me when I'm trying to get somewhere. No. It hit on a chord about being patient for your future mate. I'm like any other person. I look around and see all my friends, family members, people I graduated with in relationships and getting married while I'm still sitting on the sideline, waiting for my turn. As humans we tend to want things in the now. We think God should answer our prayers as soon as we pray them. For must of us that doesn't happen. It's all in God's timing. I just wish his timing would be sooner.    

Another topic it ht on was how God doesn't see your imperfections...and I can relate this to the above. I stared a list of what I think my imperfections are. Not a complete lists, but enough to get me thinking.

1. I'm short.
2. I'm not attractive.
3. I'm not a good talker.
4. I can't sing.
5. I'm probably overly nice.
6. I'm short...

There are more, but are just some off the top of my head.

I feel like because I'm sort, no woman would ever what to be seen with a guy under 6' and the fact that I'm not that attractive makes things difficult. I guess I've just beat myself up so long over my imperfections that I've started to believe they truly exist.

Guess this was sort of for me more than anything.

Patience...patience

Still praying

Dear future wife,

I can't wait to meet you! I've been praying for the "suddenly" thing to happen, but just haven't seen it yet. Soon hopefully!

I just want to take the time to pray for you right now. Life can be hard at times. Whether it be job, friends, family, coworkers...So much in fact that we lose track of our own life. I pray right now that stress and strife/division are eliminated from your life so that you can live a joyful life! I pray that sickness is gone from your body! You are healed from head to toe in Jesus name!

I just want to reassure you that your imperfections, your quirks will be loved!

Hey, maybe some evening when we're sitting on the couch we can break out the Nintendo and play a game of Super Mario Bros!

Just a typical Saturday

Today I ran in a 5K called "Girls on the run." It was really inspiring to see these girls come across the finish line. Some of these thought that they could never run, let alone finish a 5K, so seeing the joy and excitement on their faces was humbling. I was excited for them. 

I watched as some of the girls ran across the finish line who looked distressed. I soon found out that they needed their inhaler because of Asthma. It broke my heart and I immediately began to pray for God to break that curse off them.

I know what it's like growing up with Asthma. The doctors spoke negativity over me as a child. When I played sports or did any kind of heavy physical activity I would start to wheeze, making it hard for me to breathe. Like those girls, the doctors gave me an Inhaler and I absolutely hated using it. To me, it was a crutch and I didn't want any part of it. No matter how bad I was winded or how much I was wheezing, I didn't use my Inhaler. Only on a rare occasion I would use it.  I thought it made me look different from my friends; it made me stick out, so I chose not to use it.  No matter what, I didn't let Asthma slow me down. So I felt for those girls. I knew how painful it was. I'm now Asthma free, God healed me back when I was still in school. 

All in all it was a fun day!

Dear future wife,

You are awesome! I pray that God will guide and protect you in all you do! I pray that God places a deep desire in your heart to know Him even more. Lord, I thank you for my future wife! I pray that You bless our future marriage in every way! You are so powerful that You can do anything! I pray for healing, restoration, prosperity, oneness, and grace to abound in our future marriage! I pray for our future children. I pray that you give us the patience, love, and knowledge to raise them according to Your word. In all these these I pray in Jesus' Holy Name. Amen!

 

I encourage you

Your eye has not seen nor has your ear heard or your heart cant comprehend all the great things that God has for you! He's the God of breakthrough! I pray right now that God will begin to shift things in your life. I pray that the old embers of once forgotten dreams ignite. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart! Just believe and expect the favor of God to out-pour in your life!  You are a queen! A daughter of the most high God! I speak all of this into your life right now! You are valuable and God wants to add more value to you! See yourself as being valuable and don't listen to any words of negativity. You are fearfully and wonderfully made!  Lord, bless my future wife. Don't let the words of the enemy discourage her. Speak to her and encourage her! #DontLimitGod

Dealing with my insecurities

Sometimes I am way to focused on my own insecurities. We're all heard the phrase "You're your own worst critic." and boy am I ever. My height and my physical appearance are the two biggies. They always seem to sting me at least once a week. I've been rejected so many times that I've grown accustomed to it. So much to the point where I wont even ask a woman out.

So, to overcome that...fear (or what ever you want to call it), it's going to be my goal to introduce myself to random people whenever I get the chance, and we'll see if helps "cure" me of some of my insecurities.

And with that, I pray for you...

I pray that you don't struggle with insecurities; and if you are, I pray that you are also working on them as myself. You are a treasure worth far more than rubies -more than anything on this Earth. Lord, I am in agreement with whatever my future wife is praying about. Pour out Your blessings on her.

Boaz man

How many people believe the fairy tale the right relationship will make your troubles go away? Truth is, the right relationship only comes after we have the right relationship with ourselves. We have to love ourselves before we can love someone else. Do you ever just observe people? Not profile, but just watch and observe? I've been guilty of it. Especially when I see guys  mistreating their girlfriend. Imagine if you were a father. Would you want your daughter to date you?

I thank God that He kept me out of the wrong relationships. I thank Him that He is preparing me for the right relationship. I want to be a Boaz man. I'm not going to be that man who willy nilly gets into a relationship with no direction or planning. Boaz was prepared for when he met Ruth. He had built a life and was ready. You cant haphazardly commit to a woman without direction. Women want a provider and I want my heart to be ready for when I meet my future wife.

Lord, I thank You for what You are doing my my life. Thank You for preparing me; preparing my heart for when I meet my future wife. Lord, I still struggle with insecurities. I look at myself and think that there's no way that anyone could ever love me. I ask that You begin to take those thoughts away! They are thoughts of the enemy! Father, I pray that You are preparing my future wife's heart too. I don't know Your plan, but I know it's something awesome! Bless my future wife, Lord. If she's going though anything I pray right now that You will begin to work in the midst of her situation and I thank You work everything out!

Guide us both. Amen!

No title

"God has a plan for your life! Don't let fear keep you from that plan!" Is what I keep telling myself day in and day out. I still struggle with fear at times. As a male we're kind of programmed not to show weakness and that gets in the way at times. Especially with fear. I thank God that He's working on that area of my life.

Lord, You know the desires of my heart.  Your word says in Mark 11:29 that what soever we desire, when we pray that if we believe we receive then and there, we shall have it. Our faith must operate in "now" faith. Now faith equals the substance of things. So Lord, right now I just thank You for all that You have done in my life. You know what we want before we even ask for it, but if we want to see it we first have to speak it. After all, You spoke everything into existence.

I pray right now that You are working behind the scenes to bring my future wife to me. I pray that You're causing things to happen so that our paths will cross. I'm also praying for this to be suddenly; I want to meet her this year! Thank You for all that You have done God!

Father God, I ask right now that You will speak to my future wife and let her know that her future husband is praying for her. Comfort her in her time of need. Be her rock. Let her know that she is worth far more than anything in this world. I pray that You will guide her in her journey and be with her every day. Send Your Angels to protect her from any harm. Most of all, touch her heart and continue to prepare her for the mighty woman she is to become. Amen!

qualities I desire in my future wife

I did some thinking last night. You know, one of those times when you're laying in bed and you just think. I really think the Lord has been dealing with me on it, meaning we have to give voice to our prayers. Now I've been praying this prayer for some time and haven't seen the manifestation of it yet, but that doesn't mean I give up, no.

So at work in my spare time today, I drafted a small list of what I am looking for in a future wife. I will be adding to this list, however this right now it's just a small list of qualities that I desire my future wife to have. She doesn't have to have them all, I don't think anyone ever could. In no random order, here they are:

1. She loves God first
2. She’s a prayer warrior
3. She shows Sincerity
4. She has Honesty
5. She’s Understanding
6. She has Loyalty
7. She’s Truthful
8. She shows Thoughtfulness
9. She’s Ambitious
10. She cares for others
11. She’s attractive
12. She’s intelligent
13. She’s elegant
14. She loves unconditional
15. She’s responsible
16. She gets along with family and friends
17. She never gets tired of old video games (haha – had to put that one in here)
18. She’s active
19. She likes music
20. She loves kids
21. She has a sense of humor
22. She can laugh at herself
23. She’s a great listener
24. She’s patient
25. She likes sports
26. She makes be a better man
27. She’s adventurous
28. She’s gentle
29. She’s optimistic
30. She’s humble
31. She’s creative

This was just a few things I typed up while on my lunch break...

So Lord, right now I pray for my future wife, where ever she is. Lord, I don't know your plan, but I pray that you will stir the waters and guide me to her (or her to me). Set our paths to intersect. I pray that she is seeking You in all that she does. I pray that she trusts You in all things great and small. I pray that you are molding her into the mighty woman she is to become.  I pray that You are with her in all she may do. Be with her during the hard times and be with her during the good times. Break her heart for what breaks Yours so that she may be a true woman after Your own heart. Continue to guide her. Continue to protect her. Surround her with Your mighty love. Embrace her so that she knows that she is loved. In all these things I ask in Jesus name.
Amen!

New Year

Happy New Year!

Another year has gone by. It's hard to believe that it went so fast. Here's to a new and fresh outlook. I pray blessings over you and may your walk with God get even stronger!

Who knows, maybe this year I'll finally meet you

What makes a woman wife material

Did some thinking today about my life. I thought by now that I would have my own place, be with the woman of my dreams and be working on a family. The reality of things is that I am not, and I am really having thoughts that I never will. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be in relationship right now. I would love to be with the woman of my dreams, but for some reason I cant seem to find her...

I thank God that He kept me out of the wrong relationships. At the time I was mad at God. I prayed and prayed that He would keep my girlfriend and I together, but untimely it never worked out. I prayed hard; prayed if He would just let us be together that I would never ask for anything again. In hindsight, God really did know what He was doing and I am so thankful for it.

So what makes a woman marriage material? What qualities should she have?  

1. Confidence: It's attractive when a women is secure in who she is and she knows her value. Confidence in where she is going or where she wants to go. The confidence and faith in God that He will direct every step of her path no matter how hard it may be.

2. Compassion: Having compassion for others is attractive. God had so much compassion for us that He send His only Son to die for us; saving us from our sins. 

3. Integrity and character: Women with good character will keep promises. They look out for others and not afraid to say when they're wrong. Being the same as you are in public as you are in private; not being two faced. 

Not my entire list, but a few...

Some people get married just to get married. Others get married out of obligation. I want to get married for love. I've seen so many broken relationships and marriages because of this. Marriage is commitment, it's not something you can take lightly. It's not a game.

I'm praying for my future wife every day. Some days I forget, but most days I say prayer...even if it's something as simple as "keep her safe, God."  Granted, I haven't met her yet (as least I don't think I have), but I cant wait for the day we meet!

Future wife,

I don't know who you are right now. I don't even know if I have met you already. I pray right now that God will cause our paths to cross so that we'll meet. I can't even imagine who the girl is that God has set aside for me, but I do know without a doubt that you are going to be one amazing woman. I'm excited to meet you, as well as to grow with you in a spiritual way. By faith, I am believing that our paths will cross suddenly. Give her the strength, Lord to resist any attacks of the enemy. I pray that God surrounds you with protection so that no harm will come to you. And Lord, give me the strength to resist any attack from the devil as well. Give me patience.

I just want to encourage you to follow your dreams. God didn't give you those passions to give up on. Trust and cling to Him. Listen and seek.  Though I man not be present, just know that I am praying for you every step of the way.

With love,

Your future Husband

It's hard to believe that I still get carded when I buy an "M" rated video game or an "R" rated movie. I'm flattered when I get the occasional you don't look your age, but I'm a kid anymore.  I remember this one time when I was younger, a bunch of us from my family went to Pizza Hut for dinner. Typical mother, father, brother, grandparents, cousins, and their parents. Everyone at the table got an adult sized cup except me...I was given a small plastic cup. Even then I didn't look my age...which is good I suppose and I guess I'll take it.

 

A lot things that you did as a kid, you probably no longer do. Some things carry over to an extent. Take me, for example. I still play video games. Maybe not as much as I did when I was a kid, but I still get enjoyment out of it. 

So I've finished up my duties at work and now I'm taking a break. I cant wait for these 12 hour shifts to end; they're definitely not me. I'm more of an A.M. 6:30 - 2:30  person. I'm praying I'll get to pick my own hours like everyone else here soon.