What makes a woman wife material

Did some thinking today about my life. I thought by now that I would have my own place, be with the woman of my dreams and be working on a family. The reality of things is that I am not, and I am really having thoughts that I never will. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be in relationship right now. I would love to be with the woman of my dreams, but for some reason I cant seem to find her...

I thank God that He kept me out of the wrong relationships. At the time I was mad at God. I prayed and prayed that He would keep my girlfriend and I together, but untimely it never worked out. I prayed hard; prayed if He would just let us be together that I would never ask for anything again. In hindsight, God really did know what He was doing and I am so thankful for it.

So what makes a woman marriage material? What qualities should she have?  

1. Confidence: It's attractive when a women is secure in who she is and she knows her value. Confidence in where she is going or where she wants to go. The confidence and faith in God that He will direct every step of her path no matter how hard it may be.

2. Compassion: Having compassion for others is attractive. God had so much compassion for us that He send His only Son to die for us; saving us from our sins. 

3. Integrity and character: Women with good character will keep promises. They look out for others and not afraid to say when they're wrong. Being the same as you are in public as you are in private; not being two faced. 

Not my entire list, but a few...

Some people get married just to get married. Others get married out of obligation. I want to get married for love. I've seen so many broken relationships and marriages because of this. Marriage is commitment, it's not something you can take lightly. It's not a game.

I'm praying for my future wife every day. Some days I forget, but most days I say prayer...even if it's something as simple as "keep her safe, God."  Granted, I haven't met her yet (as least I don't think I have), but I cant wait for the day we meet!

Future wife,

I don't know who you are right now. I don't even know if I have met you already. I pray right now that God will cause our paths to cross so that we'll meet. I can't even imagine who the girl is that God has set aside for me, but I do know without a doubt that you are going to be one amazing woman. I'm excited to meet you, as well as to grow with you in a spiritual way. By faith, I am believing that our paths will cross suddenly. Give her the strength, Lord to resist any attacks of the enemy. I pray that God surrounds you with protection so that no harm will come to you. And Lord, give me the strength to resist any attack from the devil as well. Give me patience.

I just want to encourage you to follow your dreams. God didn't give you those passions to give up on. Trust and cling to Him. Listen and seek.  Though I man not be present, just know that I am praying for you every step of the way.

With love,

Your future Husband

It's hard to believe that I still get carded when I buy an "M" rated video game or an "R" rated movie. I'm flattered when I get the occasional you don't look your age, but I'm a kid anymore.  I remember this one time when I was younger, a bunch of us from my family went to Pizza Hut for dinner. Typical mother, father, brother, grandparents, cousins, and their parents. Everyone at the table got an adult sized cup except me...I was given a small plastic cup. Even then I didn't look my age...which is good I suppose and I guess I'll take it.

 

A lot things that you did as a kid, you probably no longer do. Some things carry over to an extent. Take me, for example. I still play video games. Maybe not as much as I did when I was a kid, but I still get enjoyment out of it. 

So I've finished up my duties at work and now I'm taking a break. I cant wait for these 12 hour shifts to end; they're definitely not me. I'm more of an A.M. 6:30 - 2:30  person. I'm praying I'll get to pick my own hours like everyone else here soon.

  

PE teacher today

Today was good day; I was able to be a substitute teacher for a local school. It was my first time ever subbing for a PE teacher. All in all it wasn't a bad experience at all. I got the call on the night before and was hesitant on accepting it the offer because I work another job that starts at 6pm on Friday night and goes to 6 a.m. on Saturday. I usually try to sleep for the most part of day on Friday because I go in to work for a 12 hour shift, so working as a Substitute from 7:15 until 12:30 is rough. Getting up at 5 a.m. working until 12:30 and then coming home to trying and get a few hours sleep seemed rather...hard...but here I am.

Aside from the super long day that I'm still working on, it was fun. Things have changed from when I was a kid though. Some of the things that go on, I as a kid would have never done and nor did the kids I went to school with. At one point during the day -lunch time actually, this kid came up to me while I was on lunch duty, give me a hug and said he liked me as his substitute. It's the little things like that make your day. I was surprised at how many students remembered my name. Giving more thought to it, I really need to get back on the study wagon and study for my tests to become a teacher.

Future wife...

The a few days ago I kept waking up throughout night. I wasn't sure exactly what it was; I shrugged it off as not being able to sleep. After about 4th time I knew it was something; I could feel it. It was just one of those deep down gut feelings. I didn't know what to pray. I just knew that I needed to pray for you. I know God was speaking to you that night and I pray that you heard...

That's my biggest pray. Lord, give me eyes to see and ears to hear. Speak to me; be that voice that guides me. Give me eyes to see so that I will be able to react faster. 

I pray that God is #1 in your life. Keep Him the center and you'll never go wrong. I pray protection over you and your family so that nothing ill will come against you. Just know that I am praying for you every step you take. I hope you feel God's presence around you at all times.

After a short hiatus

It's been awhile since my last post...


I've actually been thinking about going on hiatus from all of this. The thought of "What's the point?" continues to plague my thought process. It's not the right attitude to have and I understand that. It's just been hard that past couple of months.


Have you ever wished you knew God's complete plan and purpose for your life? Who you're going to be with, where you're going to live, what kind of job you're going to have? Would we even be able to handle or comprehend what that plan is? In all reality, most likely not, but it would still be nice to know.


Being single sucks. When everyone around you is already in or is getting in a relationship or  getting married...you seen them and how happy they...it kind of makes you feel like the odd person out.


I guess this is all coming from an inexperienced dater (if that's even a word). I have no clue where to meet people. I don't work in a building with an abundance of single woman (if any at all). Males out umber females 10:1, so meeting people in the work place is ruled out. There are no single women in my church, so that 's out. My friend circle is really small so meeting someone though friends is out of the question. Point in short is, it's very hard for me to meet single women. I'm not the type of guy to really try online dating  because I think it's a sham; a complete and utter waste of time.


I also suppose I sell myself short a lot of the time...
I feel that I have nothing to offer or that I'm always overlooked; overshadowed.  I've been blown off more times that I can count for "being too short." I'm always the nice guy but never boyfriend material. I can't help that I'm short; I can't change it. There is nothing that I can physical do that will make to grow taller other than praying to God an believe for a miracle that He will cause my genes alter themselves thus allowing me to grow taller.


They say that you have to love yourself before you can love another person. If that's the case then so be it. I absolutely hate myself for being short. I hate that I am always overlooked for something I have no control over or can change. Of course, being short does have it's advantages, however most women don't want to be with a guy under 6'.


There's some woman out there for me...just haven't found her yet.


   

Early morning

So it’s currently 1:30 a.m. in the morning and I’m about 7 ½ hours into this 12 hour shift. I’ve read google, yahoo, and msn news so many times that I could probably tell you everything that has happened over the past week. I did turn on the TV for some background noise and to help keep me awake (really not sure if it’s working…) I’ll tell you one thing though, if you work this shift all the time then my hat is off to you. Time would go by so much faster if there were another person here. At least then I would have some sort of interaction with a human being.

Every now and then I’ll get up and walk down the hall to stretch my legs. To do so I have to walk through another room to get to the hallway. Both of these rooms, the one I am in and the one I have to walk through are motioned censored. Not sure how I do it, but occasionally I can ghost through both rooms down and back without the lights coming on. I suppose it’s just another one of my mad skills. 

Dreams are weird

Aren’t dreams amazing? The past week I’ve had a dream every night. REM sleep is simply awesome! Though I never completely remember them, they’ve been weird. Take this one I had last night for example. I dreamt my car was a Transformer (crazy right?) The night before that I had a dream I noticed this beautiful girl almost everywhere I went. She would always seem to be at the same exact place as me at the same exact time. I tried everything to get her to notice me. Eventually I walked up to her and attempted to have a conversation. No matter how I approached her she never acknowledged my presence. Nice dreams, right? Weird thing is, that’s how I basically feel. I’m never noticed. I’m always friend material and never boyfriend material…such is life.

Then you get the people who tell you your dreams mean something and try to interpret them…yea, I’m not really a believer in that voodoo.

I did some thinking this past week –not really anything heavy, just pondering “Where do singles meet?” Like where would a single guy go to meet a single girl? People tell me all the time you can meet anywhere. Yeah, whatever…that’s basically a cop out answer. No single girls go to my church. If they do, they’re way older. No singles girls work where I work. Again, I work with mostly males and if there are any singles girls, they don’t work in the section I work in and I never meet them. I also live in a very small town where the population is much older than me. The nearest big cities are roughly 50 minutes away from me in every direction. With all of that, it makes it very hard to meet anyone. Plus, I’m not going to be one of those dudes who goes up to a random girl and asks her out...I just seems creepy to me.

That brings me to online dating. To me, it’s nothing but a joke. The site founders have no interest but to make money, loading the site with multiple fake profiles and matches that a far from what you’re looking for. Speaking from experience, I’ve tried it and it was nothing but depressing. #singlelife

Christian Mingle, POF, Match, eHarmony…you name it, I’ve tried and have had zero success.

“Get out more,” people tell me. And do what? I’m not going to a bar to meet someone, no thank you very much.

I suppose that I am just going to have to trust God on this situation. I wasn’t blessed to be a part of the 6 foot tall family. The simple fact is women don’t like short guys, and I’m a short guy. I’m rejected on something I have no control over. Does it hurt? Yes. Especially when you’re told it to your face. I’m thankful for the candor, but it still stings a little. Though I am pretty much numb to it now. It’s routine for me to be told that.

Still though, I will trust God. I know there’s a girl out there for me. I know she’ll be straight from God.

Lord I pray that You are preparing me to meet my future wife. I pray that You are preparing her to meet me. Lord, if there is anything in my heart that is not pure, I ask that you will cleanse me and make me white as snow. I want to me the man my future wife deserves. A God fearing man that will put You first, his family second, and this friends third. A man that will stand by his wife through good times and bad, because I know that with You by our side we will not fall. In the meantime, continue to bless protect my future wife. I speak wholeness and wellness over her. I speak blessings and favor over her. May she be the woman You’ve called her to be.