Insecurities

We payed live in church this morning for worship. It's always a privilege to be able to play for the Lord. I pray that we'll get better and better each time we play. It's tough sometimes though. It's only my brother, myself, and another guy playing the bass. Drums and keys would be a great addition, but unfortunately we have a small congregation at the present. There's so much that I would love to play in a way that would lead people into an atmosphere of worship. Soon...we'll get there soon.

Have you ever asked God "What is my purpose in life?" or better yet, "What is Your will for my life?" I know I have. More times than I can count. Ever seem as if you never hear back? Again, I know I have felt that way from time to time. If we only knew the true purpose that God has for us...Sometimes I think the purpose would be so grand that we couldn't comprehend or fathom its nature. I want to be in the center of the plan that God has for my life. I want to know without a shadow of a doubt that I am where God wants me. Am I there yet? No, I don't believe so, but I will get there soon, I know it.

More so now, I beat myself up over things I shouldn't. I tell myself:

I'm not good enough.

I'm not smart enough.

I'm ugly.

There's no way they would like me.

There's nothing special about me.

I'm too short -women don't like short guys. (this is a BIG one for me)

Each one of those is very justifiable as to why I tell myself those things. Take the first one for example. It always seems as if I am always skipped over in everything I try to do. Does it mean that I'm not good enough? Of course not, but as many times as it has happened to me I've began to think that.

Second one. Same thing. There always seems to be someone better that is chosen over me.

Third one. Let's see, I haven't dated in almost 4 years. Every relationship I've tried to get in ends in betrayal or just being played. I seem to be "that" nice guy but I'm never relationship material. I just really feel like I am never really noticed by women.

You get the point...just some things that I need to work on.   

So yeah, this post was a little different...more about me, but I haven't forgotten about you.

Lord, I pray right now if my future wife is struggling with any insecurities that you begin to speak to her and let her know just how special she is. Revel to her that she doesn't need those insecurities in her life. She is a queen. An heir to the throne.  A daughter of the most high God. Begin to work any insecurities that she may have out of her life as You are mine.  I also pray that You will show her the will You have for her life so that she may walk in her God called destiny. Bless her, Lord. Continue to pour out Your favor in her life. Also, protect her where ever she is and where ever she goes. Protect her family and her loved ones. Just be with her always. Let her know that You are with her and watching over her. Amen