What makes a woman wife material

Did some thinking today about my life. I thought by now that I would have my own place, be with the woman of my dreams and be working on a family. The reality of things is that I am not, and I am really having thoughts that I never will. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be in relationship right now. I would love to be with the woman of my dreams, but for some reason I cant seem to find her...

I thank God that He kept me out of the wrong relationships. At the time I was mad at God. I prayed and prayed that He would keep my girlfriend and I together, but untimely it never worked out. I prayed hard; prayed if He would just let us be together that I would never ask for anything again. In hindsight, God really did know what He was doing and I am so thankful for it.

So what makes a woman marriage material? What qualities should she have?  

1. Confidence: It's attractive when a women is secure in who she is and she knows her value. Confidence in where she is going or where she wants to go. The confidence and faith in God that He will direct every step of her path no matter how hard it may be.

2. Compassion: Having compassion for others is attractive. God had so much compassion for us that He send His only Son to die for us; saving us from our sins. 

3. Integrity and character: Women with good character will keep promises. They look out for others and not afraid to say when they're wrong. Being the same as you are in public as you are in private; not being two faced. 

Not my entire list, but a few...

Some people get married just to get married. Others get married out of obligation. I want to get married for love. I've seen so many broken relationships and marriages because of this. Marriage is commitment, it's not something you can take lightly. It's not a game.

I'm praying for my future wife every day. Some days I forget, but most days I say prayer...even if it's something as simple as "keep her safe, God."  Granted, I haven't met her yet (as least I don't think I have), but I cant wait for the day we meet!

Future wife,

I don't know who you are right now. I don't even know if I have met you already. I pray right now that God will cause our paths to cross so that we'll meet. I can't even imagine who the girl is that God has set aside for me, but I do know without a doubt that you are going to be one amazing woman. I'm excited to meet you, as well as to grow with you in a spiritual way. By faith, I am believing that our paths will cross suddenly. Give her the strength, Lord to resist any attacks of the enemy. I pray that God surrounds you with protection so that no harm will come to you. And Lord, give me the strength to resist any attack from the devil as well. Give me patience.

I just want to encourage you to follow your dreams. God didn't give you those passions to give up on. Trust and cling to Him. Listen and seek.  Though I man not be present, just know that I am praying for you every step of the way.

With love,

Your future Husband

It's hard to believe that I still get carded when I buy an "M" rated video game or an "R" rated movie. I'm flattered when I get the occasional you don't look your age, but I'm a kid anymore.  I remember this one time when I was younger, a bunch of us from my family went to Pizza Hut for dinner. Typical mother, father, brother, grandparents, cousins, and their parents. Everyone at the table got an adult sized cup except me...I was given a small plastic cup. Even then I didn't look my age...which is good I suppose and I guess I'll take it.

 

A lot things that you did as a kid, you probably no longer do. Some things carry over to an extent. Take me, for example. I still play video games. Maybe not as much as I did when I was a kid, but I still get enjoyment out of it. 

So I've finished up my duties at work and now I'm taking a break. I cant wait for these 12 hour shifts to end; they're definitely not me. I'm more of an A.M. 6:30 - 2:30  person. I'm praying I'll get to pick my own hours like everyone else here soon.

  

PE teacher today

Today was good day; I was able to be a substitute teacher for a local school. It was my first time ever subbing for a PE teacher. All in all it wasn't a bad experience at all. I got the call on the night before and was hesitant on accepting it the offer because I work another job that starts at 6pm on Friday night and goes to 6 a.m. on Saturday. I usually try to sleep for the most part of day on Friday because I go in to work for a 12 hour shift, so working as a Substitute from 7:15 until 12:30 is rough. Getting up at 5 a.m. working until 12:30 and then coming home to trying and get a few hours sleep seemed rather...hard...but here I am.

Aside from the super long day that I'm still working on, it was fun. Things have changed from when I was a kid though. Some of the things that go on, I as a kid would have never done and nor did the kids I went to school with. At one point during the day -lunch time actually, this kid came up to me while I was on lunch duty, give me a hug and said he liked me as his substitute. It's the little things like that make your day. I was surprised at how many students remembered my name. Giving more thought to it, I really need to get back on the study wagon and study for my tests to become a teacher.

Future wife...

The a few days ago I kept waking up throughout night. I wasn't sure exactly what it was; I shrugged it off as not being able to sleep. After about 4th time I knew it was something; I could feel it. It was just one of those deep down gut feelings. I didn't know what to pray. I just knew that I needed to pray for you. I know God was speaking to you that night and I pray that you heard...

That's my biggest pray. Lord, give me eyes to see and ears to hear. Speak to me; be that voice that guides me. Give me eyes to see so that I will be able to react faster. 

I pray that God is #1 in your life. Keep Him the center and you'll never go wrong. I pray protection over you and your family so that nothing ill will come against you. Just know that I am praying for you every step you take. I hope you feel God's presence around you at all times.

After a short hiatus

It's been awhile since my last post...


I've actually been thinking about going on hiatus from all of this. The thought of "What's the point?" continues to plague my thought process. It's not the right attitude to have and I understand that. It's just been hard that past couple of months.


Have you ever wished you knew God's complete plan and purpose for your life? Who you're going to be with, where you're going to live, what kind of job you're going to have? Would we even be able to handle or comprehend what that plan is? In all reality, most likely not, but it would still be nice to know.


Being single sucks. When everyone around you is already in or is getting in a relationship or  getting married...you seen them and how happy they...it kind of makes you feel like the odd person out.


I guess this is all coming from an inexperienced dater (if that's even a word). I have no clue where to meet people. I don't work in a building with an abundance of single woman (if any at all). Males out umber females 10:1, so meeting people in the work place is ruled out. There are no single women in my church, so that 's out. My friend circle is really small so meeting someone though friends is out of the question. Point in short is, it's very hard for me to meet single women. I'm not the type of guy to really try online dating  because I think it's a sham; a complete and utter waste of time.


I also suppose I sell myself short a lot of the time...
I feel that I have nothing to offer or that I'm always overlooked; overshadowed.  I've been blown off more times that I can count for "being too short." I'm always the nice guy but never boyfriend material. I can't help that I'm short; I can't change it. There is nothing that I can physical do that will make to grow taller other than praying to God an believe for a miracle that He will cause my genes alter themselves thus allowing me to grow taller.


They say that you have to love yourself before you can love another person. If that's the case then so be it. I absolutely hate myself for being short. I hate that I am always overlooked for something I have no control over or can change. Of course, being short does have it's advantages, however most women don't want to be with a guy under 6'.


There's some woman out there for me...just haven't found her yet.


   

Early morning

So it’s currently 1:30 a.m. in the morning and I’m about 7 ½ hours into this 12 hour shift. I’ve read google, yahoo, and msn news so many times that I could probably tell you everything that has happened over the past week. I did turn on the TV for some background noise and to help keep me awake (really not sure if it’s working…) I’ll tell you one thing though, if you work this shift all the time then my hat is off to you. Time would go by so much faster if there were another person here. At least then I would have some sort of interaction with a human being.

Every now and then I’ll get up and walk down the hall to stretch my legs. To do so I have to walk through another room to get to the hallway. Both of these rooms, the one I am in and the one I have to walk through are motioned censored. Not sure how I do it, but occasionally I can ghost through both rooms down and back without the lights coming on. I suppose it’s just another one of my mad skills. 

Dreams are weird

Aren’t dreams amazing? The past week I’ve had a dream every night. REM sleep is simply awesome! Though I never completely remember them, they’ve been weird. Take this one I had last night for example. I dreamt my car was a Transformer (crazy right?) The night before that I had a dream I noticed this beautiful girl almost everywhere I went. She would always seem to be at the same exact place as me at the same exact time. I tried everything to get her to notice me. Eventually I walked up to her and attempted to have a conversation. No matter how I approached her she never acknowledged my presence. Nice dreams, right? Weird thing is, that’s how I basically feel. I’m never noticed. I’m always friend material and never boyfriend material…such is life.

Then you get the people who tell you your dreams mean something and try to interpret them…yea, I’m not really a believer in that voodoo.

I did some thinking this past week –not really anything heavy, just pondering “Where do singles meet?” Like where would a single guy go to meet a single girl? People tell me all the time you can meet anywhere. Yeah, whatever…that’s basically a cop out answer. No single girls go to my church. If they do, they’re way older. No singles girls work where I work. Again, I work with mostly males and if there are any singles girls, they don’t work in the section I work in and I never meet them. I also live in a very small town where the population is much older than me. The nearest big cities are roughly 50 minutes away from me in every direction. With all of that, it makes it very hard to meet anyone. Plus, I’m not going to be one of those dudes who goes up to a random girl and asks her out...I just seems creepy to me.

That brings me to online dating. To me, it’s nothing but a joke. The site founders have no interest but to make money, loading the site with multiple fake profiles and matches that a far from what you’re looking for. Speaking from experience, I’ve tried it and it was nothing but depressing. #singlelife

Christian Mingle, POF, Match, eHarmony…you name it, I’ve tried and have had zero success.

“Get out more,” people tell me. And do what? I’m not going to a bar to meet someone, no thank you very much.

I suppose that I am just going to have to trust God on this situation. I wasn’t blessed to be a part of the 6 foot tall family. The simple fact is women don’t like short guys, and I’m a short guy. I’m rejected on something I have no control over. Does it hurt? Yes. Especially when you’re told it to your face. I’m thankful for the candor, but it still stings a little. Though I am pretty much numb to it now. It’s routine for me to be told that.

Still though, I will trust God. I know there’s a girl out there for me. I know she’ll be straight from God.

Lord I pray that You are preparing me to meet my future wife. I pray that You are preparing her to meet me. Lord, if there is anything in my heart that is not pure, I ask that you will cleanse me and make me white as snow. I want to me the man my future wife deserves. A God fearing man that will put You first, his family second, and this friends third. A man that will stand by his wife through good times and bad, because I know that with You by our side we will not fall. In the meantime, continue to bless protect my future wife. I speak wholeness and wellness over her. I speak blessings and favor over her. May she be the woman You’ve called her to be.

Early morning draft

So my brother bought me a new laptop the other day. My current one is a Sony Vaio that is going on 7 years old. It’s been through it all and shows. It’s what I like to call a “Frankenwire” computer. A few years ago the AC power onboard unit had broken. A wire had ended up being broken somehow. Spliced wires, some solder, liquid tape and hot glue later it was fixed…with about three inches of excess wire hanging from the side of it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great laptop. It got me though my College years after all, but it’s really time to lay it to rest. Maybe I’ll use it for a print server or something….

Hashtag “blessed”

This past weekend has been super long. I’ve basically had zero time to myself or to remotely do anything productive. Luckily for me I finish up my schedule Monday morning (insert happy face.)    

I’ve always heard that how you dress is an expression of how you feel about yourself. Not sure if that is true or not. I love dressing up. Putting on a pair of slacks, a nice button up shirt and tie…but it is really limited where I am from. Pretty sure if I were to do that around where I live I would get some weird looks. Of course, on special occasions it’s perfectly acceptable.  I am more of a dress to be comfortable kind of person. I enjoy a comfortable pair of pants and a tee shirt.

I suppose the dressing up part goes along with the idea of being a modern day gentlemen. I remember back when I was dating this girl and we had an evening planned where we’d both dress up and do something out of the norm. Something like going to a play or show and dine at a more than casual restaurant. That of course never happened because we broke up soon after, however the plan and idea was still there…

Seeing men, husbands, boyfriends mistreat their wife or girlfriend strikes a nerve with me. No one should mistreat their wife or girlfriend. She’s a queen and you’re supposed to protect her and see that no harm should come to her. That’s where this day in age comes in. I feel as if some males today have lost touch with the gentlemen of the past.

Lord I pray right now that you will continue to correct me and guide me in the right direction to stay and be a true gentlemen.

Thinking back to when I was a kid, being a man meant being strong and not showing weakness. Being vulnerable meant being weak. Even to this day I still feel the effects of thinking that way. After a rough breakup I didn’t want to show weakness or physically show that I was vulnerable even though it was killing me inside. It was easily one of the worst times of my life. So much emotion inside, unanswered questions, confusion…it was hard, but with the grace of God, I got through it.  

Lord, be with me. Continue to form me and correct me to make me into the man my future wife needs. I pray that I will continue to listen and hear your voice guiding me on the right path. 

Weekend warrior

Last night was night my first time working/having the schedule 6pm to 6am. That continues through Monday morning. In a way it is kind of nice because you get a long break throughout the week, but yet they are super long days/nights.  I’m believe in Psalms 104:23 “a man goes to work in the morning and comes home in the evening.” I’m praying for steady day shift work.

Some perks to working 3 twelve hour weekend shifts at night:

·         It’s very quiet! Seriously. You ever heard the phrase “you could hear a pin drop?”

·         You could technically go to school if you wanted too and finish a degree.

·         Studying for certifications is a good way to pass the time.

·         It’s much, much slower than during weekdays.

·         updating your blog while on break.

Working in my field in addition to working through the weekend makes it hard to meet people. Not sure if it’s statically backed, but I would have to say that my field is predominantly male. Sure, I see females throughout the building, however they work in a different section. I see a lot more people during the day…

All negativity aside, I am thankful for a job and I am able to work.

Like I said, I’m standing on Psalms 104:23 and you all be in agreement with me J

I see so many happy couples…TV, Facebook, out in public and I think to myself “Why can’t I have that?” Am I really that unattractive that I am unapproachable? The enemy likes to play head games with me and I’ve let him beat me up for the longest time. “You’re not good enough”, “you’re not attractive enough,” “you’re not tall enough,” and I’ve believed it. Nothing but lies from the pits of hell and I’ve let those thoughts take root, so pray for me in that area, ‘cause I sure need it.

Lord I pray for my future wife and her thoughts. I pray that those negative thoughts –those lies, which the enemy tries to tell her do not take root. Give her a good weekend…and if she’s a weekend warrior like myself, then bless her. She’s a special lady, Lord. Continue to be with her every step of the way. Renew her mind. Heal any afflictions she may have. I pray good health over her. Pray blessings and prosperity over her. Be with her family too. Protect them all in Jesus name.

Amen.

New job. New start

Well, I got a new job. I'm still studying for the previous tests I've been studying for just doing both for the time being. I wont lie, this job was a blessing. It came at a point where I was about to give up. Cool thing about it is I'm working with some people I know. Honestly, I am very thankful that I was hired to do what I do; I cant thank the company nearly enough for giving me the opportunity to work for them.


Lord, thank You for Your grace and mercy. Thank You for all that You are doing in my life and all that You will do. Thank You for Your unfailing love when I mess up. Lord, I pray that my future wife is listening to Your voice. Thank You for her life and the impact she has on others. I pray she draws near to You in all she does.

When I get married

Have you ever said "When I get married...?"

Going out to dinner or seeing couples in public I find myself making mental notes that start with that phrase. I've done it for both sides of the phrase. "When I get married, I will..." or "When I get married, I wont."

For example, Sometimes at work you may hear your coworkers talking about their spouse. Most of the time it's good, but occasionally it could be negative.

I cant help but think to myself "When I get married, I'll never do that or act that way or say that" Of course that's all the negative things I have experienced by watching couples behave. The way some husbands treat their wives is unfathomable.

Just a few examples:

When I get married, I won't....

• become fat and lazy.
• play video games like I did when I was a kid.
• become a workaholic.
• get in an over abundance of debt due to poor choices.
• be verbally or physically abusive. 

When I get married, I will

• be a good listener.
• encourage my wife to go after her dreams and reach her full potential.
• provide for my family.
• raise my children in a Godly household.
• let my wife know everyday how much I love her
• be a good, Godly father to my children.
• encourage my children to all they do.

The thought of marriage is exciting and I cant wait for the day I meet my future wife. I know God has one special lady out there for me that He is preparing. He is preparing me for her as well.

Thank you, Lord for my future wife. You are a mighty God and I know that You are preparing our paths to meet. Lord, I pray for discernment so I'll know it's her when we meet. Speak to the both of us in a loud audible voice so we'll both know. Thank you, Lord for all that You are doing in our lives.

Amen!

God answers prayers

Last week I had an interview with a company for a position I wanted. I wasn't really qualified for the position, but I figured why not? After the interview one of the gentlemen told me he would give my resume to another company looking to hire in the same building. A few days later I get contacted from the company they person gave my resume to, wondering if I could interview. I was ecstatic! I get the the interview place and sit for a few minutes because I was early. After a short period of time a guy I worked with on a previous job walked in...he was one of the people interviewing me (cool, right?) Anyway, after the interview the Project Manager asked to talk with me privately. He asked the typical questions...one in particular was about my salary. I gave him a range and he looked at me and said "I think I can do better." "Awesome",  I said out loud. Long story short, I got an offer from his company and accepted it.

The reason I was looking for a new position was because my previous jobs contract had ended and I needed work. Cool thing is, I start back to work at the same location I was before. It may have taken a couple of months, but I found a position. Not only a new position, but I found favor and had an increase in salary.

God answers prayers. I've questioned God from time to time, asking "when God? When are you going to answer?" and you know, that is not the thing to do. Praise Him in the storm; that's what I should have been doing. Trust in Him no matter what. 

I do know that through this storm that God was working some things out of me. He was making me a stronger person. 

Thank You, God for everything in my life. Thank You for blessing me and for favor in my life. Thank You for my future wife, Lord. I don't know where she is right now or if I've even met her, but thank You for her. Thank You for making me the man she deserves and continuing to mold me into a man of valor. Father, right now I pray that You will protect my future wife and her loved ones. Let no harm come to them. Pour out your blessings and favor in her life, Lord. Thank You for setting our paths together for the day we meet. 

Amen

Insecurities

We payed live in church this morning for worship. It's always a privilege to be able to play for the Lord. I pray that we'll get better and better each time we play. It's tough sometimes though. It's only my brother, myself, and another guy playing the bass. Drums and keys would be a great addition, but unfortunately we have a small congregation at the present. There's so much that I would love to play in a way that would lead people into an atmosphere of worship. Soon...we'll get there soon.

Have you ever asked God "What is my purpose in life?" or better yet, "What is Your will for my life?" I know I have. More times than I can count. Ever seem as if you never hear back? Again, I know I have felt that way from time to time. If we only knew the true purpose that God has for us...Sometimes I think the purpose would be so grand that we couldn't comprehend or fathom its nature. I want to be in the center of the plan that God has for my life. I want to know without a shadow of a doubt that I am where God wants me. Am I there yet? No, I don't believe so, but I will get there soon, I know it.

More so now, I beat myself up over things I shouldn't. I tell myself:

I'm not good enough.

I'm not smart enough.

I'm ugly.

There's no way they would like me.

There's nothing special about me.

I'm too short -women don't like short guys. (this is a BIG one for me)

Each one of those is very justifiable as to why I tell myself those things. Take the first one for example. It always seems as if I am always skipped over in everything I try to do. Does it mean that I'm not good enough? Of course not, but as many times as it has happened to me I've began to think that.

Second one. Same thing. There always seems to be someone better that is chosen over me.

Third one. Let's see, I haven't dated in almost 4 years. Every relationship I've tried to get in ends in betrayal or just being played. I seem to be "that" nice guy but I'm never relationship material. I just really feel like I am never really noticed by women.

You get the point...just some things that I need to work on.   

So yeah, this post was a little different...more about me, but I haven't forgotten about you.

Lord, I pray right now if my future wife is struggling with any insecurities that you begin to speak to her and let her know just how special she is. Revel to her that she doesn't need those insecurities in her life. She is a queen. An heir to the throne.  A daughter of the most high God. Begin to work any insecurities that she may have out of her life as You are mine.  I also pray that You will show her the will You have for her life so that she may walk in her God called destiny. Bless her, Lord. Continue to pour out Your favor in her life. Also, protect her where ever she is and where ever she goes. Protect her family and her loved ones. Just be with her always. Let her know that You are with her and watching over her. Amen

First dates

Today must have been random thinking day. Not that I do a lot of random thinking, but while mowing grass today I started thinking of first date questions. Because that's what you do on first dates, right? Try to get to know each other. All of this while mowing grass too...weird. Anyway, here are few questions that I thought of.

1. If you could attend college all over again, what would you study?
2. What's your favorite restaurant?
3. What's on your playlist these days?
4. Okay, you've won the lottery. How would spend the money?
5. Are you a morning or night person?
6. What's the last good movie you saw?
7. Collect anything?
8. What's your dream job?
9. Do you have a favorite season?
10. What was your favorite cartoon character growing up?

No particular order of course, but those were just some random thoughts going through my head.

First dates are always so nerve racking -at least for me. Those butterflies you get, the expectation, the nervousness. All good things I suppose, but it sure is annoying.

I plead the blood of Jesus over my future wife. I claim His protection over her. Not only over her life, but over her family, her health, her finances, her travel, her ministry, her vehicles, and everything the Lord has given her. Guide her, Lord, direct, correct and protect her in all the paths of her life. Give her wisdom. Speak to her heart and let her know that You are hearing her prayers. I speak blessings and favor into her life. Show her You will for her life, God.

Mold me into the man my future wife needs. Lord, I confess my fears and insecurities and declare them null and void. They have no hold on me. Lead and direct me.

Amen

Work week

Lord, I don't know who my future wife will be but you do. You know all things. So right now I make statement of faith and I willingly decide to trust you with my life so that you will guide our paths together. Lord, give my future wife a great and blessed work week. Let it be stress free and without incident. Help her to keep her eyes on you in all things, even when things get tough. I pray that you will guide her in making the right choices and decisions this week. Speak to her and let her know that that You love her. She is Your child first, God. Lead and direct her path. Thank you, Father. May she bring glory to Your name always.  Amen.

Present your requests to God

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God

That is exactly what we as Christians need to do. The bibles says all we need is the faith of a mustard seed. When we do present our prayers to God, we should just believe that it is answered as soon as we speak it. Don't be anxious and worry about it, but believe and trust Got that it is already done. 

That verse speaks to me very loudly. Occasionally I let my flesh get in the way and I start to doubt because I don't see God answering my prayers. Like me, you may sometimes think that it is impossible, but let tell you this. Nothing is impossible for God.

Future wife:

I absolutely cannot wait to meet you. I'm excited for the day we meet and I know without a shadow of a doubt that when we do meet that I will know for sure that you are the one. I pray that God will give us both the discernment so we will both know. It is actually quite hard praying for someone you've never met, but it is something that God put on my heart to do about a year ago. Actually physically typing or writing out a simple prayer, You might be reading this now or you may not, but I want you to know that I am waiting on you. Lord, right now I lift my future wife up to You in prayer. I don't know where she is or what she is going through, but You do. You know what she is praying, what she needs, what she wants. You know the desires of her heart. I ask right now that You will begin to manifest those prayers in her life so she will start to see them answered. 

Lord, I also pray that You will continue to mold me into the man she is looking for. Prepare my heart -prepare me for when we meet. Mold and prepare me into the man that will lead his family after the heart of God. Hear my prayer o Lord. 

As always, continue to watch over and protect her. Continue to bless and pour out Your favor on her life. Lead and guide her...

Amen 

Power of our mouth

I choose to believe this important promise: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope" Jeremiah 29:11

I always seem to go back to that scripture. No matter what version you read it sill gets the meaning across. We're never alone when God is with us.

The power of life and death is in the tongue Proverbs 18:31 . We have to align our mouth with the word of God and speak His promises over our situations. We can't go speaking negatively and expect God to move. God has been dealing with me on things like that. Sometime I'll find myself speaking something contrary to God's word. Not because I don't believe, but usually because I am joking around and not really meaning anything by it. That's exactly what I need to stop doing. It doesn't matter what the situation my look like, speak God's word over it no matter how hard it may be.

Lord right now I pray that my future wife is speaking Your word over her life. I pray that no matter how bleak the situation may look that she stands her ground and confesses Your word over it. Continue to bless her and be with her ever step she takes. Guide and direct her. Make her path straight. Anoint her hands so that everything she touches is for the glory of God. Pour out Your favor in her life. Put a hedge of protection around her where ever she goes. Be with her always. Amen

God knows the plan for our life

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

This is one of my favorite bible verses. Every time I go through something I go back to this verse. God knows the plan He has for our life! We just have lean on Him and trust His word. It's hard, I know. Especially when it doesn't look like anything is happening. Keep that positive outlook and keep confessing Gods word over your situation. Whether it be a new position, a new relationship, new friends, etc. God wants to bless us. We're not made to live in lack.

Lord right now I pray for my future wife. She can do ALL things through Christ Jesus! She is a joint-heir with You-an Ambassador for Christ! Lord, You word says in Matthew 21:22 "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. I pray right now that you will begin to manifest the prayers of my future wife in the physical. Whatever she's praying, I ask you begin to answer. Continue to bless her, Lord. Bless her abundantly. Pour out Your favor in her life! Lead and guide her in whatever she may do. Make her path straight. And Lord, keep her safe. Psalms 91:11 "For He will command His angels to guard you in all your ways" Send those angels and guard her every step. Amen

Cast your cares on the Lord

1 Peter 5:7:
Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you.

I just feel led to speak that verse over you. I don't know what or if you're going through anything right now, but that word has been string in my spirit. Anxiety, unanswered questions, feelings of doubt, what ever it may be, cast it upon the Lord. Surrender all. Throw up your and give it all to God. There is nothing we go though that we cannot cast on the Lord.

One of the first few songs I learned on guitar was "For the moments I feel faint" By Relient K. The second verse in that song goes like this: "I throw up my hands. Oh the impossibilities. Frustrated and tired Where do I go from here?"  Sometimes that is exactly what we have to do. Throw up our hands and just surrender it all to God. He knows what we need. He knows what He's doing. We just have to come to the realization that  God can fix whatever we're going through. It's hard. I know. The devil is telling us one thing trying to sway our thoughts. Trust God.

This post goes for me as well. I need to follow my own advise.

Father right now I come boldly to the thrown of grace. I pray for my future wife and whatever she may be going though. Speak to her; reassure her that You are in control and she has nothing to fear. Be that audible voice that she hears saying "I have it under control. I will never leave you or forsake you." Touch her, Lord. Place Your mighty hand over her life. Bless her abundantly. I speak favor over her! Surround and protect her throughout her life. Be with her where ever she may go. In all these things I ask in Jesus name. Amen.

Dreams

I was flipping through channels today and stopped on a local church post reordered service stream. I listened for a few minutes of what the pastor was talking about. I must have missed the majority of the message, but what I did hear of it resonated with my life. The pastor was like me in his career. He had worked with computers and was laid off. He wanted a change in his life -his dream was to be a teacher and for some reason he placed that dream on the back burner. Now he is pursuing a teaching position. His message was don't give up on your dreams.

How many of us have dreams that we want to see manifested in our lives? How many of us have put dreams aside due to events in our lives? Maybe you had to drop out of college to take care of a family or a baby. Maybe you are afraid to pursue your dream because you have always been told you are not smart enough. What ever the reason, it is never too late to start working toward your dream.

My story starts while I was still in High School. I was a senior about to graduate and had no clue what I was going to do after school was out. See, I wasn't the smartest kid in school. I didn't make straight A's - I was more of a C and B kind of kid. I struggled at times. There were many nights where I cried because I couldn't understand my homework. It didn't help that my father called me "stupid" and "dumb" either.

Graduation came and went and I still hadn't done any research of where or what I wanted to do. Somehow, and I can't remember why, I chose to go Computer Tech. I was good at computers and figured I would excel through that program and would find a job after graduating.

It was a 15 month program and I took me longer than 15 months because I failed 2 classes. I failed a Visual Basic programming class and an Intermediate Accounting class and ended up graduating in December instead of May.

After graduating I realized that I wanted to do more. Maybe my confidence was up or something, but all I know is that I wanted to be back in school, so I applied to Fairmont State to go into a completely different field in which I had originally planned. A field in teaching.

I chose to go into education. I wanted to be a teacher like my mother...a PE/Health Teacher. Everything started off well, I was taking education classes, electives, and general requirement classes...all seemed well. Then I learned that I would need to take and pass the Praxis exam before I could even get into the teaching program. It freaked me out. I am terrible at taking tests. Yes, this was a three part test. A reading test, a math test, and a writing test. After learning about the Praxis I did what any freaked out college student would do, I changed my major to Information systems...

Fast forward a few years. I graduated with a BS degree in Information Systems and started a job in my field.

Fast forward to last year. I worked in government contracting. Once the contract you're working on ends you may or may not have a position. I ended up losing my position. During my time off I decided to go back to school and finish my degree in Education. I applied back to college and got accepted for the Winter/Spring semester. It was in May and I started studying for the Praxis. I bought a couple of books and watched countless Youtube help videos. A couple of months later I decided to take the exam. It was a partial success. I passed the reading and writing portion but failed the math portion.  January rolls around and I start classes.....2 weeks go by and I get hired by a contract company to work on a Bio-metrics project. I had to accept the job offer (being on unemployment, I kind of had to).

Fast forward to the present. That contract is over and I am yet again, without work. The good thing is that I have been working as substitute teacher since the ending of the contract...

To bring this long entry to a close, I want to relate this to what I stated above about the Pastor I watched on TV today. My dream was to be a teacher. I opted out on that dream because I let fear control my destiny. Now I am studying to retake the math portion of the Praxis. Then I'm going to study for the Praxis II for the content area I want to teach. I'm going to get my teaching certification!

Maybe you're like me, maybe you gave up on your dream. I am here to say that "You can do it!" Do not like fear keep you captive! Chase your dream and rekindle that spark that you gave up on. Blow wind on those cole's to start a flame. Let that flame burn within you. Don't give up. If you need encouragement, I'll give you all the encouragement in the world. You've got this -you can do it! It's something I tell myself ever day. I have a strong desire to do what I'm doing right now and I know struggles may come, but they wont bring me down. No, I am doing this. I will not give up! So be encouraged and don't give up on your dream. It's never too late to live your dream!

For the future wife:
Honey, be encouraged today. You're a very smart woman. Work toward those dreams you have and never give up. If I saw you in the physical right now I'd be telling you. It may be hard, you may have to lay some things down, it may take longer than normal, but don't give up. I want you to be happy. I want to see the joy accomplishing your dream brings you! Remember, seek God's face in all you do. Follow Him and He will guide you. You may not know what path to take to reach your dream, but trust me, listen to that still voice and you'll never be led astray.
  

Road to becoming a Teacher

It's been a while since my last update. For some reason I have found it hard to want to update my blog. Circumstances have been coming against me that have left me in doubt concerning things that are happening in my life right now.

A few posts back I mentioned going back to school to become a teacher. I started back and was approached by a company for work in the Bio-metrics field. I took the position and had to drop all of my classes. The job lasted a little over 2 months due to the contract ending. I've been a substitute teacher since the contract ended and have done a little investigation. It seems that I can become a teacher without going back to school. All I have to do is pass the Praxis exam (which I have), pass the PLT exam (which I am studying right now), and pass a core exam of the subject I want to teach. So it looks like that is what I will be doing for the next few months.

That was one issue bothering me, the other was the thought of "Why even update this?" That thought has been in an out of my head so many times over the past few months. I guess there is really no excuse for it, except for letting the thought take hold of me and listening to it.

Being single is hard. I loved being in a relationship -it was fun. I enjoyed going on dates, buying birthday presents, Christmas presents, and those random gifts. I liked the time just talking to someone. Living where I live makes it even harder finding someone because of location. I know God can send a person in my path at any given time. I know He can send someone from far away just so our paths can cross -I believe that with every fiber of my being. Anymore I have began to wonder what is the point? Why even look? I haven't found her yet and doesn't look I will any time soon. I go out in public and see all these happy couples laughing and having a good time while I'm over here staring off into space. I suppose what I am getting at is that it is hard at times. I know God's word says fear, doubt and unbelief are of the Enemy...guess I should stop listening to the lies of the Devil.

for the future wife:
I apologize for being a Debbie Downer. I am sure you have felt the same at some point in time...and if not, you're freaking awesome! Right now I pray for over all wellness. I pray your mind is renewed each and every day but God's word. I speak blessing into your life! I pray the Lord answers each and ever prayer you pray. I pray you find your hearts desire.

Another Letter to her

It's been a while since my last update...

I have been thinking and I would like to do something different or something I haven't done in a while.

Hello, future wife.

I don't know when you will read this, but I want you to know that I cannot wait for the day we meet. I occasionally find myself thinking of you -well, the idea of you. What you look like, your smile, your laugh, even the way you brush your hair behind your ear using your fingers. I think of where we will be, what kind of home will we have, even what our future children will look like. One thing I know for sure though is that God will bless us. If we keep to His word, lean and trust in Him, He will guide and bless us in all things.

Waiting isn't easy. I've waited for what seems forever. I've been in some bad relationships in the past and from time to time have felt like throwing in the towel, but I cant do that. I choose to wait for you.

Writing this kind of reminds me of message in a bottle type things. #randomThough

I want you to know that I am praying for you -every day. I pray for your health -that you will remain healthy with no sickness. I pray for blessings to fall on you -that God will bless you in all that you do. I pray for favor in all that you do. You are a Queen and a daughter of the most High God and He wants to bless His children.

Have you ever been in the middle of something and think to yourself "This would be perfect if....?" Example: When you're out walking on a breezy Spring day when it's the perfect temperature for no coats. I often think "This day would be perfect if she (you) were here." The thought gives me hope that we'll meet someday soon.

You are one amazing woman. You were fearfully and wonderfully created and you are beautiful! I can't wait until the day we become one and I get to spend the rest of my life taking care of you. I will be one blessed man.

All my love,

Your future Husband

Come boldly to the throne of grace

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace..." Lord right now I speak to situations and circumstances that may be going astray and declare them to change for Your glory. I speak health and wholeness into my future wife's body. I speak to any mountain in her way and declare it to move -be gone!

Lord, You know what I've been though in the past. Guide me on the path to her. I'm not going to follow the world's standard of  chasing women for temporary relationships. I'm place this in Your hands. I know deep down that my future wife is praying for me as well and praying for the day we meet! It gets hard waiting -I've impatient at times. So I pray right now that You will help me when temptation may come and show me to hold on and not fall into those relationships that are not suited for me.

I don't know who she is. I cant see her, nor can I touch her face at the moment. I don't even know if we've ever met, but the best thing I can think of right now is to pray for her -where ever she may be. Pray blessings over her. Pray health over her. Pray no lack over her. Pray protection and provision over her. Just be with her, Lord, every single day of her life and let her know that she is loved.

I wait with patience. I am anxious, nervous, and excited for the day we meet -the right time. Continuing these small prayers are a must and I look forward to the day when I see beautiful you walking up the isle and us being committed to one another saying "I do"

All these things I as in Jesus' name. Amen and amen!
 

Doing things differently

Since the weather is breaking I thought maybe it would be nice if I started my running schedule again. After working chest and back exercises -which consisted of a ton of push-ups and pull-ups, I went for a short run. It's funny how your mind can just wonder when you're out in nature. The sun was shining and the wind was blowing. It wasn't too bad of a day for the most part -the sun was warm when the wind would die down. Anyway, I saw some little kids out playing in a yard, just having a good time, and I sparked memories of myself as a kid.

For me as a kid it meant going to Grandma and Grandpa's early in the morning while mom went to work -she's a teacher. Every morning mom would take me to their house, drop me off and drive to work, and every morning around breakfast time, Grandma and Grandpa would take me to Hardee's. It's crazy how you can remember those events from such a long time ago. 

Eventually I started school, caught the school bus from my Grandma and Grandpa's and rode it home their house when school was finished. After getting off the bus it was play time until my mom came and picked me up -which wouldn't be for a few hours. Sometimes my cousins would be there and we'd play outside in the woods. I remember there was this huge (well, it's not so huge now) rock that we called "The split rock." because it was split in three pieces. So many good memories playing on that. 

When I was old enough the play sports I started playing little league basketball and softball. The older I got the meaner my dad seemed to get when I played. I'd do something "stupid" and he would yell at me. I felt embarrassed when he would come to my games. It came to the point when I started playing grasshopper basketball that I told him I didn't what him coming to my games because all he would do is yell. I know deep down that he probably thought he was helping, he just didn't know how to express it. 

To make a long story short, I stated thinking of my future children how I would do things differently then how my dad did to me. Of course in his defense, he wasn't a christian back then and didn't know better. Thank the Lord he changed his life.

For the future wife:

You are a virtuous woman - a woman of noble character. A daughter of the most high God - an heir to the throne! I pray that God continues to lead and guide you with all you do! Bless her Lord -Bless her beyond measure. Keep her safe from harm and let no ill will come to her. Amen!  

The things people say

The things people tell you....They sometimes spark a memory or thought that you wouldn't otherwise think on your own freewill. 

I've been letting my mind get the best of me over the past couple of days, and I'm not really sure why. The thought of always being single plague my mind to a point where I can't stake them. When you're looking for a partner and not succeeding, it's inevitable for those thoughts to creep in. I just feel as if I have been single for such a long period of time that I don't even know the rules anymore. I don't even know what is expected of me. I suppose the perception I hold of myself plays a part in the whole thinking as well. I'm a sort guy -5'4. I've had very little success in the dating world because of my height. And I know what you're thinking, I thought the same thing...up until I am told "You're too short for me." -And not just one time, this has happened multiple times! I'm not what you'd call a hunk, in fact I'm kind of skinny. Blow after blow it starts to have an impact on your confidence level. Then comes the whole idea of meeting people. I work with a bunch of guys. There are no women around me so meeting someone at the work place is out. There are no women my age at my church, so church is out. I live in a super small town with nothing to do, so that is out.  Maybe I'm just lazy...

So yeah, I've been dealing with those thoughts for the past few days...keep me in your prayers

For the future wife:

So,  I'm going to try and relate this to my top post. I hope you don't think those thoughts too. Always remember how much you are loved by Jesus. He loves us so much had He was willing to die for us. He paid the ultimate price for each and every one of us. Lord, I pray right now for my future wife wherever she is in life. Be with her right now. Send your angles to her location and protect her. Speak to her mind; comfort her. Let her know that You are with her. Bless her, Father. Pour out your unmerited favor on her life. Lead and guide her, Lord in her journey.  

equally yoked

How many of you have heard the importance of being equally yoked and the importance of it? Like many people, I heard it preached in church numerous times. I knew what God's word said and I knew how dangerous it was to unequally yoked in a relationship. Still, I ignored those teachings and have always got my heart broken. I didn't listen to the voice of God when he spoke to me...Thank God for His mercy and grace.

Godly woman. Godly relationship.

I do miss being in a relationship. I miss the fun the dates, the fun of finding things in common with that person, and just that companionship knowing someone actually cares for you. Being from a small town where the closest city is 40+ minutes away makes it hard to meet people -it really does. People will disagree, but to me it's a challenge. I'm not a bar type of guy -what kind of Christian woman are you going to meet in a bar?  I sort of made a New Years resolution to myself that I would attempt to meet more people and so far I'm failing miserably. It's only February though.  

For the future wife.
Always remember that God fights for us! He is for us and not against us. If we ever need something, all we have to do is call on His name and He is faithful to answer. Never think that you are never enough. You are more than enough -you have God on your side. I speak confidence into your life. I speak blessings into your life! I speak wholeness into your life! You are an amazing woman - bold, fearless, faithful woman. You are beautiful, caring, and compassionate. Never let the enemy speak those negative words to you.

Songs for sunday

Practice for Sunday's worship service went well. Song line up is 1: Days of Elijah 2. Blessed be your name, 3. Our God, 4. Cornerstone. Still need a drummer, but I think we did well without one. I'm still waiting for my new guitar -I like my Ovation, but I want an all wood guitar. So yeah, it's been awhile since we last played -mostly due to weather. Those freak snow storms canceling church pushed us back. I will be the first to admit that there is still a bunch of stuff for me to learn on guitar, but I absolutely love playing. It's one thing that I could never give up and I am so thankful for the person who taught me how to play. It's one ability that I hope to pass down to my future children.

For the future wife:

Lord, continue to make her a woman of noble character, compassion, wisdom, diligence, and skill in whatever she puts her hands to. I ask right now, in Jesus name that you will replace any insecurities she my have with the ability to trust you and to rest in your word. Be her shield and guard her from the evil one. Let your favor rest upon her. Bless her and prosper her.

First day of spring

Have there been times in the past when you tried and failed at something?  I know I have. I've had my share of failures through life. I think sometimes that I am afraid of failure -or just afraid to fail. I've over come many obstacles in my past and occasionally had to dust myself off and try again, but still, deep down, I feel like that fear still lingers.  Maybe I'm afraid that I wont measure up. Anyway, I did some reading, and this phrase came to me: "Man's expectations do not determine your success." Then I hear God say: "Who says you're a failure?"

First day of spring by the way...

Almost wrecked today

Thank you to anyone who was praying for me today. I came super close to being in a vehicle accident while driving home from work. I'm actually thankful I drove my Evo today because it handles like a dream. The wide tires on it make it stick to the road. Scared me because I thought "Oh no..." I've only had my Evo since 2012 and it'll make 3 years this May. Thank the Lord though! It kind of makes me want to take it to a track just to see what it can do. So yeah, that was my enticement.

My Nintendo Amiibo collection is coming along nicely. I'm a little late on the bandwagon so I have to play catch up, but I'm getting closer to owning them all.


For the future wife:

Exodus 14:14 says "The Lord will fight for you; You only need to be still"  How cool is it to know that?! The Lord fights for us! Those battles where there's no way we can win in our own strength, God is there with us! All we need is to trust and rely on Him. He will never leave us or forsake us...
When those hard times come your way, trust in God. Put your faith to the test -faith of a mustard seed is all we need. You are a strong courageous woman of God. You don't know how special and loved you are. You are beautiful inside and out! Keep doing your thing -keep trusting in God -keep your faith and believe that God will deliver on His word!

Lord, keep her safe. Send your Angels and place a hedge of protection to surround her. Let no evil or harm come near her. She is your daughter, Lord. Heal any emotional scars she may have. Heal her physically if she needs it. I thank you for all You do, Lord. Amen and amen.

Encouragement

Have you ever written a letter to someone you have never met? It’s staring at a blank canvas. Where to begin, what to say or ask? Questions fill your mind…..

I learned at an early age to be encouraging –to mind what you say – “do unto others…”so to speak. I can remember all through elementary school, and even through Jr High School that some of my friends would make fun of those who were less fortunate than themselves. Seeing how hurt they were afterwards was an awful feeling. I always tried to say something nice or talk to them when no one else would -which always seemed to cheer them up. Even I was occasionally picked on –mostly because my mother was our gym teacher. I was basically labeled the kid that couldn’t get in trouble because his mom was a teacher. My friends were all taller than me so I would always get picked on because of my height. It always made me mad, and I would never let my shortness cause other kids to intimidate me.

Encouragement…it’s a wonderful thing. We should all take the time to encourage someone throughout our day.

Did some random thinking today and a question came to mind that I would like to ask those in a relationship: “Why do you feel the way you do about dating your partner?” Could they come up with an answer?  Believe me, I know the feeling, there is nothing like the feeling of being loved! But if asked the question, could you readily identify any practical reasons? From my relationship experience, I could have come up with reasons –easily. Relationships based on lust probably aren’t going to last. If you are just basing your relationship on looks then it will probably end sooner then you expect. Take the time to get to know your partner. Put forth effort in finding out things about them.

Future wife:

Like the first few sentences state above, writing to someone you’ve never met is hard, but I want to encourage you today. You are one remarkable woman! A woman of noble character! Today you are one step closer to your goals. You are strong, you are worthy, you are beautiful, and you are perfect! Remember, in all that you do. Nothing is impossible with God! 

Wise advice

It can be frustrating when when one falls over and over again. The pain and disappointment that is endured sometimes causes us to rethink trying again. One thing my dad taught me while growing up was to never quit. The phrase "Quitters never win." comes to mind, right? Well, that's me. I strive to complete, because we all know the end goal is greater than the pain of the present.  You and I have stayed the course and have made it a quest to wait for each other. Back when I was in college, I was taking this night class. Super long three hour, once a week class on Wednesday nights from 6-9 p.m. It was actually a Speech Communications class where we'd basically give a few speeches and do a ton of group work! I would usually get there early and play an older piano that was in the classroom -come to think of it, I believe the room was once a music room. One of those nights, an older gentlemen who was also in my class -he must have been in his 70's -just taking classes to take them, came to class early too. No ever sure how we got on the subject, but he asked if I had a girlfriend or if I'd found "the one" yet. "No," I replied, "But I'm still searching..." He smiled and said he married his lovely bride after graduating high school. One of the last things we said to me was..."Wait for a woman who truly captures your heart in such a way, that every beat acts as a drum roll for her arrival. Wait for the one who takes your breath away -fall in love with her ever day of your life".   Such wise advice he gave.

Lord, you know my heart. You know my desires. Lord whatever you want is what I want. I know that You have a very special lady out there for me. I pry right now that You will continue to mold me into the man she deserves. Mold me into a man of valor. Prepare me for her, Lord....prepare me and equip me to everything she deserves. Thank You, Lord, for all that you do and answering my prayer. Amen!

Singleness

Sometimes I think I let my singleness get to me. Sure it's fun being single. I've experienced many amazing things. All of which I am very grateful, but having a partner to share them with would have been sweeter. Hiking trips, vacations, camping, etc...Still, having someone around would have made the trips even more fun. Even the littlest thing such as running a race -Color Me Rad, for example, would be a ton more fun...

It's not all that bad I suppose. If I want to sit around in my underwear all day and play video games, who's to stop me? If I want to eat an entire cake or pizza -I can. If I want to eat out of the ice cream carton then "go me."

At any rate, I will continue this journey until I find her...

For the future wife:

Fill her life with joy - a joy in You that reaches beyond material riches. A joy that says without a doubt "I will go where you go and anything if You are in it." Give her a peace of mind that confirms this in her faith.  Lord, I pray right now that any difficulties in her life are made well. I speak those those situations in Jesus' name and declare them void! I pray right now for her success. I pray that she prospers in what ever she does for the glory of your kingdom. Continue to bless her, Lord. Keep her safe and secure.

Amen

Fear, doubt, unbelief

Took my car down to the garage this afternoon for Monday's appointment. Yet another recall -this time it's the AWC unit.  It's really the first time my Evo has been out in the snow, so I was surprised of how good it actually went.

Ever have one of those days where it seems as if your brain is on overload? You cant stop thinking -no matter what it is. It doesn't even have to be important (but usually it is). Well, that has been me today. Seems like I cant get my mind to settle down. First, I started thinking about my job. The contract I am working on is about to end and I could possibly be unemployed...again. Next, I start thinking about the certification exam I failed and when I will be ready for a retake (which has to be soon because it's required for my job). Then then I start thinking about three words. "Fear, Doubt, and Unbelief." I know it's God speaking to me, because why else would those words come to me? It's something I still struggle with -probably shouldn't, but I still do. The fear of losing my job. Not because of anything I did, but because of and end of contract. Loss of job means unemployment. I hate being unemployed. "What if I cant find another job?" "How long will it take before I find another job?" Now the word "doubt" comes in. I can hear God saying "Why do you doubt  Me?" "Haven't I brought you this far?" God will never leave us of forsake us -I know this, but I still sometimes let the enemy lie to me. It's not that I have unbelief in God. I know who He is and what He can do. I've seen him work in my life and peoples around me....I guess I sometimes focus too much on that the enemy is saying instead of listening to God's voice. I'm working in it and with God's grace I'll get it!

For the future wife:
I pray right now that you will not listen to the lies of the enemy. When thoughts come against you telling you the opposite of God's word, smack those thoughts down. Focus on what God says! Be strong and bold! Don't let the enemy speak those lies to you.  I pray that God is breaking you out of where you are. If anything is holding you back from reaching your full potential in Christ, I pray those chains are broken off you! You have so much to offer...You're a daughter of the most High God! Bless her Lord, bless her beyond measure -pressed down, shaken together, and running over. Keep her safe in all that she does. Amen and amen!  

Purpose

Drove to work early this morning -3 A.M. early. You really don't see much on the road around that time other than random deer. Kind of a peaceful drive. It was snowing, the sky was somewhat clear, the fresh snow glistened off the road when light hit it. As most of my morning drives, I was listening to the KLove radio station. About half way through my drive to work, a song came on that really hit me. Here are some of the lyrics: "I'd give up the world to find my soul. Pour out my life give You control. I just want to be what You want me to be. I just want a heart's that true. A heart like You."  The song really resonated in me. I'll be the first to admit that I get distracted occasionally and I slip. Does that mean God doesn't loves me even less? Of course not. His mercy and grace is always there to catch me when I fall. "I just want to be what You want me to be." God's purpose. That's exactly what I want. I want to be in the center of His will for my life. Do I know what it is? I like to think I do. Deep down in my heart I really believe that God's will for my life deals with music. I love playing music -call it my "happy place." It's where I can just lose myself in God's presence and just worship Him.

For the  future wife:
Lord, right now I ask that Your loving arms and presence will just wrap around her. Cloth her in Your grace. I pray that You will give her the desires of her heart. Give her a heart like You. The bible tells us to pray without ceasing...Though we may not see our prayers being answered in the physical, they are being prepared in the spiritual, so I pray right now that she prays until she see's the manifestation in the physical. Guide and direct her step. Keep her safe. Amen!

What does it take to be a man

What is it to be a man? How and when did you learn what it takes to a man?  Thinking back to when I was a kid growing up, I saw how my dad  worked hard. He showed work ethic and good character. I  watched how he treated my mom and the interaction he had with other people. Not thinking at the time, but watching him and how he acted had a profound impact on me as I was growing up. I was fortuniate enough to have a loving family. My dad was a hard worker. He showed and had integrity. Though he wasn't as christian at the time,  he demonstrated good moral values. Though there are many resources out there, the following are just some things of what I believe takes to be a man.

Promises. Always, always try your very best to keep your promises. Whether it be something complex or simple, always strive to keep your promises. You've heard the phrase "I'm a m, an of my word?" It shows you take responsibility. It shows commitment and integrity. The trust others have in you and the trust you have in yourself and your ability to deliver on those promises will grow. Speaking with authority, and I don't mean yelling or belittling or being forceful. A man needs to have that authoritative voice.

For the future wife:
You're awesome! Put a smile on your face and walk with confidence! I am behind you 100% Sometimes in life we lose hope and go astray. Don't lose that hope. Look forward and believe in tomorrow!

Another Snow Storm

So right now I am literally sitting on my bed with a guitar in my hands...well, lap, while working on a song and typing in this blogger. First on the agenda. Snow. Yes, you heard me correctly. It's supposed to get bad again with yet another snow storm. The last couple warning seemed to be a #weatherFail because it never really accumulated to much. Guess we'll see for this one.

Second, work. I got hired for this company (which I love) and the contract they're working on is coming to a close in March. I basically work for them for a month and 17 days then the contract ends. There are talks about another contract but nothing is official and on paper as of yet. Praying that I get on that project. #IhateJobSearching

Lord help me to be humble and not fall into a mindset of entitlement. I want to have a heart of gratitude. Show me how to put my future wife first -her needs and wants before my own. Rid me of any selfishness that I may have. And above all, show me how to live how You lived and love like You loved.

For the future wife:
Lord, I pray you give her the strength and courage to face what ever my come her way. When trials and challenges come her way, I pray that you will give her a peace of mind that she'll know that everything will be just fine. I pray that discouragement will NOT over take her and she will look to You. Bless her Lord. Fill her heart with joy. Heal her from anything coming against her. I speak prosperity into her life -fill her cup and overflow it! Keep her safe from harm, Lord -protect her.

Unanswered Prayers

Have you ever listened to the song by Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks? Just blocking out the music, have you ever just analyzed the lyrics? It's really something...How many of us have "thought" we've been in love and prayed for that particular person to be theirs? I'll admit, I've done it. Kind of a selfish prayer now that I think about it. God really does know what he's doing...He could have been keeping me out of an even more dangerous relationship where I had no clue what would have happened. That's where I failed and was only  focused on present. I wasn't asking God "is this the woman you've chosen for me?" "is this the very best you have for me?" Stepping stones, right? Now I'm seeking God and praying for discernment for when we finally meet. 

Lord, I know that you have picked out the woman you want me to marry. You know her name, what she looks like, her personality, her past and future flaws, and that you are saving her for me. I know she wont be perfect -who is? Continue molding into the man that she deserves. I want to be the very best for her. Provide me with the tools and characteristics required to support her in her dreams and desires. Lord, I know it's be big task. I want to be a good provider for her. Continue to prepare me and equip me for this task.

For the future wife:

Remember what Proverbs 31:10 says, You are worth far more than rubies. Keep on track and don't lose hope. Keep your eyes focused on God and He will guide and project you through anything! 

Be patient

It's been a while since my last update so what better time to talk about what's been going on with a "major" winter storm happening right now. I say that jokingly because it hasn't done anything all day -it just now started to actually snow.

"Be patient and not settle." Those words go through my head more and more. I know that I don't want anything less than God's best for my life, but it's hard sometimes...Everyone around me getting in relationships or getting married makes me wonder. It makes question if I am really that undesirable. Am I really that bad? Am I that unlikable? Thoughts of the enemy, I know, but nonetheless. I know in my spirit that God has one special woman for me. She'll be all I ever wanted and the one that God has ordained for me.

For the future wife:
I pray that you are becoming strong in your relationship with God. By doing so it will allow you to make wiser decisions and you will find that by growing wiser you'll see the plan and purpose God has for your life. I also pray that you are enjoying life to it's fullest -God created a big world for us and there is so much to explore!

Lord I pray that you bless my future wife wherever she is today on her journey. Give her the strength to move one more day toward me...toward our meeting. Don't let her give up and lose heart, but rather assure her that my heart waits for her alone. Today, Lord, make her walk fruitful. Right now I pray that You will let our paths intersect in Your divine plan for our lives. Bless my future wife. Bless her beyond measure. Wherever she is in her walk to me, bless her and keep her safe.

The Lord is good

Started my new job last Monday with great success! As many positions it was slow the first week. A lot of sitting and learning. Thank you Lord for this blessing. You are good!

Have you ever beat yourself up with words or thinking? Maybe something comes against you, causing discouragement or disappointment. I know I have, and I still occasionally do it. I know I shouldn't let those words or thoughts come in and get a hold of me, but sometimes I slip. A

 scripture that I always go it is Jeremiah 29:11. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." It's such a great scripture and it always reminds me that the Lord knows what He's doing! 

For the future wife:

Always remember that the Lord is bigger than any battle you're facing! He is for you and He loves you! If we only knew the big picture of what God has for us...Chase your dreams. Whenever the enemy comes in and attacks your thoughts, remember Proverbs 3:24 "When you lie down, you will not be afraid; Yes when you lie down and your sleep will be sweet." Don't let the devil attack your thoughts when you sleep. You are a beautiful creation! -A work for art! God formed you in your mother womb into the woman you are today -fearfully and wonderfully created! 

I speak blessings into your life. I speak prosperity and healing into your life! 

New job -Monday

Looks like I will be starting my new position this coming Monday. At least I know where I'm to go -for the most part. Living in Fairmont those College years really paid off....ahhh yes, I miss those days. Days when life was much easier. I was lucky enough where I only h ad to work weekends and didn't have to drive back and forth from Fairmont and Kingwood.

I should also mention that I am planning on buying a new guitar this year (hopefully). Don't get me wrong, I love my Ovation -it was my first "expensive" guitar I bought -second to my first "cheap"
 guitar that I bought from The Home Shopping Channel...yeah, we wont get into that. After my Grandpap died, I kind of got his guitar. It's an older guitar and sounds sooo good. My ovation sounds good too, but it has a plastic back on it which gives it a weird tone.

For the future wife:
I pray that you are blessed beyond measure! I pray that your cup overflows with the blessings of God in your life. Keep your eyes on Him and don't let the world move you. It's hard sometimes, trust me -I know. I've been down rough roads and tears have been shed -especially this past year. Just keep your faith and know that I am praying for you as well. Even when you think no one else cares, know that I do...

I'm just going to pray right now that our paths cross THIS year and we'll meet. I pray that we'll both know that when we meet that it was a divine encounter form God. I'm praying suddenly! That's what I did with my job and that's what I'm doing now.

In the mean time, keep safe and keep your eyes on God...

Short post

It's hard to contain the joy I still have from the week I've had. God, you are awesome! I ended up sharing what happened to me in church today. Maybe it benefited someone else who's going through what I went though to hear what I had to say.


To the future wife:

I don't know why I went through the season I did, but I do know that I grew. Maybe God is working things out of me in order to prepare me for you. I do know that he is teaching me the way to love so that I will be able to truly love you...Finding you is a crucial part of my life -I don't want to mess it up. I am praying and seeking God on this one and leaving it in His hands. He knows what He's doing. Just know that my heart is yours and wherever you are right now, I pray that God will surround you and protect you.

Lord, right now I want to thank You for my future wife, and how perfect You've molded and shaped her for me. After all women I've dated and thought there was something there, it's hard to comprehend there is someone out there who is designed just for me. And Lord, continue to prepare me for her. I want to give her 100% of me. Speak to each of our hearts. Guide us on the path so that one day we will meet and eventually become one.

Amen and amen.

Praise report

I have a praise report to make. I'll try to give some back story to fill in some gaps. Last year I lost my position where I was working. It was in May. I looked for work and couldn't find it. When I did find it, it was out of state and the pay would never justify the move. I hated to go on unemployment...It makes feel like people are judging me...eventually I broke down and signed up for it. Still out of work, I decided to go back to school to to finish out an education degree I started before I switched my major, so I applied to back to a local university. Got accepted and started classes on January 20. I applied for a position with a company that worked out of the same location as my previous job...people always said that once you leave, you don't come back...I didn't care, I applied anyway. My dad read me this article that I could really relate to. The man in the article was in a similar position as myself. He lost his job and it seemed as if every door was slammed in his face. We prayed after he finished reading that God would move swiftly to open doors in my favor.  The very next day I was contacted by an HR representative from the company I applied to -they wanted to set up an interview for the following day. "WOW" I thought to myself. Going with the swing of things, I set up the interview, and went through the process. The very next day (this is three days after we prayed that God would move swiftly), I was sent an offer letter...

I was literally floored! I know God can do anything -I've seen it, but experiencing it yourself is just...awesome! Even in our mistakes, God will make us prosper. 

Of course I will have to withdraw from the university now, but that's okay...God opened the door back up. :)  I should also mention that the pay was in increase from what I was making before.

For the future wife:

That above story is short and I could explain it better in person, but never stop praying...After I lost my position I spoke and believed that I would go back to work where I was -that door would open back up. I prayed it for about a month and kind of got of speaking it...actually giving voice to what I was believing. If you're believing for something, speak it -speak in into existence, and don't stop if you don't see the manifestation of it quickly. Keep your eyes on God and don't lose sight. Have unshakable faith...I know for me, this has been a trip and has built my faith up. :) 

You are not invisible

I downloaded a new app for my phone called  MapMyRun-it looks like Under Armour bought them or is affiliated with them in way . I've been using it for about a week now. Of course it's the free version where live tracking is disabled...probably why running routes doesn't track me. That is my complaint. You can pick form a good amount of routes to run, however you're never tracked....which makes running (or even finding the route) a challenge. All in all though it's not such a bad app. I've been running my own route (where it does track me) with good results. I will probably eventually get a fit bit...it's probably a better investment.

So we played live today in church! We still have a lot to learn, but I feel as if it went well.

For the future wife:
You may feel invisible at times...however, I want you to know that you are invaluable. No one or anything can replace you. You are immeasurable and priceless.

Feelings of doubt

I've been going through a rough time. Things going in the mist of me seems to have me overwhelmed. I have those feelings of doubt occasionally, but I know that I will get through it!

I've also been thinking about relationships lately -just in general. Who I am looking for, what am I looking for, why haven't I found "the one" yet. Because honestly, I've been single for 3 years now. I either get blown off or get some lame excuse. It's made me wonder if I am extremely picky or do I just know what I am looking for? Then the thought came to me...maybe I should also be praying that the Lord changes me. Maybe I still have some stuff in me that needs worked out. So I've stared praying that God will change me. Mold and craft me into the man that my future wife deserves. I want to be her strong tower (aside for God of course) a place of trust and comfort.

For the future wife:
Lord, right now I pray for my future wife. I pray that she will humble herself before you and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your word. I pray she has a forgiving heart. She is a masterpiece! You crafted her after all, I wouldn't expect any less. Fill her heart, fill her life with Your presence. Bless her and keep her safe.

I cant wait to learn everything about you even if it takes me the rest of my life...especially if it takes me the rest of my life. It'll be an unforgettable ride that we'll both cherish.

Honestly, and this goes along with what I said in the second paragraph...what I've been thinking lately has inspired me to write a song, a song about you...I'll warn you first though, I'm not a good singer, but I really feel led to do this and hopefully I'll get to share it with you when we finally meet.